Fitness from Hell

I’m always looking forward to Wednesday’s aerobics class coz I really like the instructor. She’s bursting wif enthusiasm and energy and her class is interesting coz she injects lotsa samba moves in her workout alongside the loud, upbeat Cuban songs to pump up the adrenaline rush. It’s been absolute fun attending her class. Unfortunately yesterday, she was replaced with a backup instructor.

Enter this skinny, scary looking ah lian with a huge tattoo on her left hips, suddenly blasting techno songs and screamed, “OK PPL, MY MATHS NO GOOD AH. I FAIL MATHS U NOE. U COUNT FOR ME HOR. IF DUN COUNT I MAKE U DO THE STEPS AGAIN AH!!”

Oh Kay.

At first, I tot she was just plain insane.. “do the cha-cha, half turn, then FEEELLLLLl your body,.. FEEEeeeeell your body BE sexy. Like this ah, like this…” as she run her hands down her body.. ”Shake your boobs, shake it!, shake it!”. Hahaha

But half an hour into the exercise, she turned into a complete asshole.

She made us do the half squats and when she found that all of us were not in unison, she shrieked in her most irritating high-pitch voice “HARLOOWW, HARLOWWWWW.. Lower AH, Loweeeeer!! STILL dun want to do together ah?? OK, AGAIN.. seveenn, siiixx, fiveee, fouurrrr.. STILL NO GOOD!!.. AGAIN!! seveenn, siiixx, fiveee “ We were then continued to be tortured the same way doing push-ups and painful elbow stretches.

What happen to those encouraging, take-your-time-dun-force-yourself-if-u-can’t-follow line most instructors would repeat over and over again? Did this ah lian skip the instructor’s course?

Suddenly this boot camp-like exercises reminded me of the secondary school days where the PE teacher barked at us to run faster with the ever-so-famous line, “My grandma can run faster than you, hokay “ and some idiot just had to push his luck and shoot back, “then ask your grandma to run la” which ended us all doing 50 push-ups as punishment. Yes, those excruciating pain I felt during those dreadful PE sessions were coming back alrite.

Needless to say, I woke up this very morning wif my entire body aching and painful strain on my upper and inner things. And when I stood up from my bed, kaki terketar-ketar! Hahahha..

The only consolation is that, I won’t be seeing her again next week. Hopefully, forever. From now on, I’d better check the notice board schedules 1st before every class. If ah lian’s name is there, I’m gonna make a beeline for the exit door instead!